Monday, November 9, 2009

a heartless night in January

In the heat of a night, now long past away, Peter remembered she could have loved him once. With the now frigged air of January chocking his lungs and forcing him into his coat every time he went to the street corner for smokes; the quick thought of her gave him warmth. Peter found no pleasure in route to JJ's, keeping his head down, he clinched the cuffs of his sleeves tightly, as his curses fogged the air. The Winter Wind has no charity, He thought, it is the angry remnants of a peaceful Summers wind. Now anemic from a lack of Sun, its is hungry. Hungry for flesh.

Entering the drug store-coffee shop combo, Peter gave off an audible shiver, shacking the cold from his bones. Mixed messages of indifference and empathy where given in return. With a calming stride, Peter glanced around the room for friends and strangers alike; as if to administer the silent greeting one gives to a room full of somber patrons. Once the air in the room had settled from the disturbance, and apologies given in time, Peter ordered a triple mocha. He thought the extra shots allowed him his proclivity towards chocolate milk, while saving his manly semblances he worked so hard to achieve just moments before.

While his coffee brewed, Peter walked over to the drug store side to buy a pack of cigarettes. Peter exchanged greetings with the cashier, Jenny. He often thought about taking Jenny out for coffee to give them another try. But, hiding cowardice eyes, Peter could find nothing acceptable to say. He should have gone some place else. Unwilling to test the waters with Jenny, and lacking the energy to think of a different place he'd rather drink coffee in, the moment passes. With fresh smokes, a warm coffee, and outflanked by fear-Peter found a seat next to a window.

JJ's was the perfect place Peter thought, at this time in his life. He found it convenient, for it was only a few blocks away from his shitty apartment. He often brought his own records to listen to, and play on the old style turn table-Jenny liked this. And, it was also the only place where a single male can not only buy cigarettes, coffee and condoms; but could potentially enjoy all three at once. While he typically smoked and drank his coffee. Peter had often fantasized about using all three. Pulling out that first smoke, Peter thought about his recently conceived Hat Trick. As the warming bittersweet aftertaste of his coffee mixed with the fruity, calming puff of the first drag; His mind went silent. And moments lived and died, in the fading blue gray light of a heartless night in January.